Are you raising a spoiled child?

When your child is giving you a particularly rough time, you might be tempted to compare them to the infamous Veruca Salt.

In the beloved children’s book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Veruca Salt embodies the cautionary tale of a spoiled child. One pony is not enough — she wants another one. As the Oompa Loompas sing:

Who do you blame when your kid is a brat?

Pampered and spoiled like a Siamese cat?

Blaming the kids is a lion of shame

You know exactly who’s to blame:

The mother and the father

Yikes!

Many parents I work with are very concerned about somehow turning their kids rotten. But can being generous or indulgent to our kids really affect them negatively?

In order to tackle the issue of “spoiled kids,” we need to deconstruct the idea of a spoiled child. Here are some of the beliefs that often give parents the wrong impression about their own children:

  1. Children are inherently bad. When a child has a strong reaction to not getting their way — stomping, crying, screaming or giving you a whole lotta attitude — a parent will often reflexively call them ungrateful, disrespectful, or even spoiled rotten. While this behaviour is something parents should consciously address, calling a kid spoiled feeds the notion that kids are somehow evil in nature, which is absolutely untrue!

So what can we do to raise empathetic, loving children?

  • Cultivate an environment of gratitude. An attitude of gratitude starts with you. Make it a habit to go around the dinner table and ask everyone to name one thing they’re grateful for.

Showering your child with love and real generosity cannot bring them harm. If you model healthy, generous, and loving behavior to your children, you’re doing the best thing you can for them: helping them grow up to be healthy, generous, and loving in turn.

Love and Blessings,

Katherine

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Katherine Sellery

Katherine Sellery, CEO and Founder of Conscious Parenting Revolution, helps individuals minimize misunderstandings and melt-downs in order to communicate.